The Dreaded Phone Call
TIME TRAVEL DISCLAIMER: This post was written before Christmas, but I never finished it due to the ice storm we got hit with and losing power for a few days – so don’t be all confused when I mention it’s the week before Christmas. I promise we have not traveled back in time – no need to adjust your flux capacitor ..although I always wanted a DeLorean…”Back to the Future” anyone?? no?
You ever have one of those days when things just do not go as planned? It’s the week before Christmas and I have no less than 3,247 things to do before the big day.
So, when I woke up Monday morning – to do list in hand, ready to tackle the world…
I was not prepared for little man wandering out of his bedroom with his eyes crusted shut…
NOOOO! Really? Pink eye was not on the to do list! Eww, it gives me the heeby jeebies just thinking about it, but that’s ok we were rolling with it. We were heading to the grocery store anyways, we could swing by the pharmacy for some eye drops and clorox wipes.
On with the list…
and then I got the dreaded phone call.
You know the one, where the school’s phone number pops up on your screen.
No, not the your daughter is throwing up phone call…
or the your daughter is in the principals office for giving kids swirlys in the toilet (which I’m not too worried about at this point because A. she weighs about 12 lbs and won’t be stuffing anyone in a toilet soon and B. I’m not sure the kids are really into swirlys these days…)
nope, I got the “we need you to pick up your daughter, because she licked the merry go round and her tongue got stuck and she ripped it off and is bleeding everywhere and hysterical”
didn’t see that one coming did you? Nope, me neither…
Apparently, I have done a huge disservice to my children by not having them watch “A Christmas Story” my bad! I guess I was a little worried about them asking Santa for a “red rider bb gun” or a “tacky leg lamp”.
BUT I didn’t outweigh the benefits of teaching my offspring not to lick the playground equipment when it is 3 degrees outside.
How did I overlook this conversation? I thought I covered the 2 most important snow winter safety lessons around –
1. Use the bathroom BEFORE you put your snow pants on
2. NEVER eat yellow snow
Right? I thought I had my mom duties down with those 2, but people do yourselves a favor sit down with your kids and have THE talk.
Here I’ll even provide a scary don’t try this at home aftermath photo.
Let’s just say I don’t think any other kids at her school will be trying this soon.
Oh and my favorite part in all of this is she explained the whole incident by saying –
“I was just talking a lot, like, a little too close to the bar on the merry go round and, like, my tongue it just sort of jumped out, and like stuck to the bar”
Which is actually almost believable, because if this could happen to anyone it would be my little talker…
and also, it should be noted that when she says “like” about 32 times in one sentence, this sentence should be declared null and void because it is a sure fire sign she is just making things up as she goes…
LOVE her :)
PS – in case your children don’t heed your words of caution – the surefire remedy to an ouchie tongue is a chocolate shake…extra whip cream :) She was totally fine the next day and back to talking a mile a minute!
Photo credit – my fab friend Kari over at Zander and Breck Photography more photos coming soon…
Oh you poor things – ouch! I wasn’t expecting that icky photo either – ewwww!!! The OTHER photos are great tho’ :-)
Ouch! Poor Chloe! Poor You! Great story, I think we can ALL relate:). Happy New Year!!!
oh poor baby – I’m glad she was all better by the next day! she is so beautiful! Wishing you and your family a very Happy, Healthy and Blessed 2014!
Thanks Lourdes, she is such a cutie!
Oh no! Poor dear – I hope it’s all healed up now and no lingering side effects!
back to her normal chatty self, thanks Jill!
okay …this is so not funny but I did laugh. This is inspiring ( in a weird way) cause my kids have never seen the Christmas Story either. Thanks and good luck mending that tongue.
oh believe me, the Mr. and I were totally laughing! And you HAVE To watch a Christmas story, it’s hilarious :)
The poor little thing and I think all parents reading this should whip out A Christmas Story. The pictures of the two of you are gorgeous, love them!!!
Thank you so much Cynthia, my friend Kari is such a talented photographer!
Oh my! What a cute story though. Your both beautiful. Thanks for your blog. I so enjoy it. Happy New Year to you!
Thanks so much for reading Pam, you are too sweet!
Oh my gosh!! Poor baby!! I know that must hurt!! Hope it heals quickly! Also love that gorgeous picture of the two of you and I am enjoying your blog tremendously! Thank you :)
She was back to normal the next day, chocolate shakes make everything better :)
This is the difference between boys and girls! I have three boys that love A Christmas Story and because of that scene they WANT to try and stick their tongues to a metal pole. Thankfully, it’s rarely freezing here. I’m glad she’s okay and at least tongues heal fast!
ha ha ha, so this is what I have to look forward to with my son huh?? :)
You are a great writer! And, this story brought me right back to my teaching/mothering days. You NEVER know what children are going to do….your own or someone else’s. I hope her tongue is all healed and she is talking her head off again.
Definitely talking away again :) Thanks Kathy!
You should be a writer your stories are so interesting. I’m glad your daughter is going to be ok.
Thanks Christine, she is totally back to her hilarious self :)
You should be a professional story teller. You have a gift in telling the facts and making us laugh. Enjoyed the story.
Thanks mom :)
So glad her tongue healed quickly and she is back to talking 90 miles an hour. Love the pic of you two! I would like one!
will do mom :)
Cutest pic of you two! I would like one! So glad damage was not permanent and she is back to talking 90 miles an hour
giggle…snort…giggle! So glad she is ok…here in the south that scene in A Christmas Story is so bizarre to my kids that we actually had an indepth discussion as to wh,y and how, your tongue would get stuck if they tried it.. haha! ;) Not seeing it happen anytime soon unless the arctic blasts shifts way down! ;) That is just a great story…when she is about 16 and on her first date, you can use that one as a conversation starter with the boy! Hehe!
oh you lucky ducks in the south! For sure this is blackmail material ha :)
Oh my word !!! I’m glad she’s ok and this is a riot!! Crusty pink eye and a bloody tongue all
In one day!!! The joys of motherhood!! I have two 15 yr old boys and my daughter is 12. This
Brings back memories of ” the younger years”. “Expect the unexpected” as I used to remind
Myself! I’m hoping her tongue is all healed by now! Boy, that must have hurt! Thx for sharing
And the photo of you two is beautiful!!
This is the craziest story ever. I can’t believe she DID that! Glad her tongue injury hasn’t slowed down the gab at all :) And that last picture of you two is so, so sweet. And I would like your thighs, please.
OMGOSH! I’m glad she is ok! I have 3 boys if this is the least of it be thankful! LOL My oldest came home with a hatchet in his head just before summer vacation. Thanks for sharing, it made me laugh also, and being an empty nester it brought back lots of memories also!
Love that pic of you two, Kel!!
omg… I’m sorry but that made me chuckle a little bit, but only because she is ok & omg she is the cutest little girl ever. haha thanks for sharing & giving me a little laugh tonight ;) xx
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