The Dreaded Phone Call

TIME TRAVEL DISCLAIMER: This post was written before Christmas, but I never finished it due to the ice storm we got hit with and losing power for a few days – so don’t be all confused when I mention it’s the week before Christmas. I promise we have not traveled back in time – no need to adjust your flux capacitor ..although I always wanted a DeLorean…”Back to the Future” anyone?? no?

You ever have one of those days when things just do not go as planned? It’s the week before Christmas and I have no less than 3,247 things to do before the big day.

So, when I woke up Monday morning – to do list in hand, ready to tackle the world…

I was not prepared for little man wandering out of his bedroom with his eyes crusted shut…

NOOOO! Really? Pink eye was not on the to do list! Eww, it gives me the heeby jeebies just thinking about it, but that’s ok we were rolling with it. We were heading to the grocery store anyways, we could swing by the pharmacy for some eye drops and clorox wipes.

On with the list…

and then I got the dreaded phone call.

You know the one, where the school’s phone number pops up on your screen.

No, not the your daughter is throwing up phone call…

or the your daughter is in the principals office for giving kids swirlys in the toilet (which I’m not too worried about at this point because A. she weighs about 12 lbs and won’t be stuffing anyone in a toilet soon and B. I’m not sure the kids are really into swirlys these days…)

nope, I got the “we need you to pick up your daughter, because she licked the merry go round and her tongue got stuck and she ripped it off and is bleeding everywhere and hysterical”

didn’t see that one coming did you? Nope, me neither…

Apparently, I have done a huge disservice to my children by not having them watch “A Christmas Story”  my bad! I guess I was a little worried about them asking Santa for a “red rider bb gun” or a “tacky leg lamp”.

BUT I didn’t outweigh the benefits of teaching my offspring not to lick the playground equipment when it is 3 degrees outside.

How did I overlook this conversation? I thought I covered the 2 most important snow winter safety lessons around –

1. Use the bathroom BEFORE you put your snow pants on

2. NEVER eat yellow snow

Right? I thought I had my mom duties down with those 2, but people do yourselves a favor sit down with your kids and have THE talk.

Here I’ll even provide a scary don’t try this at home aftermath photo.

Let’s just say I don’t think any other kids at her school will be trying this soon.

Oh and my favorite part in all of this is she explained the whole incident by saying –

“I was just talking a lot, like, a little too close to the bar on the merry go round and, like, my tongue it just sort of jumped out, and like stuck to the bar”  

Which is actually almost believable, because if this could happen to anyone it would be my little talker…

and also, it should be noted that when she says “like” about 32 times in one sentence, this sentence should be declared null and void because it is a sure fire sign she is just making things up as she goes…

LOVE her :)

 

PS – in case your children don’t heed your words of caution – the surefire remedy to an ouchie tongue is a chocolate shake…extra whip cream :)  She was totally fine the next day and back to talking a mile a minute!

 

Photo credit – my fab friend Kari over at Zander and Breck Photography more photos coming soon…